Adventures of a Small-Time Whistleblower: Whistleblowing as Peak Experience

Whistleblowing as Peak Experience

In jobs we find our successes, most of them memorable only for ourselves. We point to these events when we hope to justify the energy we expended and our failure to take care of other responsibilities and the people we disappointed. Over a lifetime of employment, we can perhaps list a few occasions in which we did very good work, not perfect, not without some flaws, but still very good work.

My first year with HomeFirst – 2007/2008 – was, for me, one of those rare periods of success. I had the opportunity to use skills that I had developed over the course of a career in financial planning, accounting, legal, compliance, and administrative management. With the then-CEO and the Program Director, we collaborated to bring the company back from the brink of financial collapse. We could have done more to put it on a solid footing, but we did a lot.

The years prior to that and afterward had their moments, but they were pallid in comparison. They brought none of the adrenaline rush of that special year.

Whistleblowers’ stories begin not with a courageous disclosure but with the banalities common to most jobs. In my case, those included the usual monthly reports, budgeting, compliance work, and oversight of HR and IT, which I had done for 6 years at HomeFirst, 8 years at other nonprofits, 20 years (to varying extents) at for-profit companies. And I anticipated years more of it until retirement.

Whistleblowing provides a release from quotidian work life. Ellsberg described the excitement and tension involved in copying the Pentagon Papers and getting them to news outlets – the stuff of a 2003 movie. Snowden’s capture and release of government secrets and his international escapade were the material for a better film. Some whistleblowers[1] become spies-in-the-ranks, wearing covert recording devices to feed information to government investigators. Some participate in sting operations for the arrest of wrongdoers[2]. We enter a world of secret collaboration with law enforcement officials.

We work, sometimes for years, to amass evidence to be used against suspected wrongdoers[3]. In one case, Charles Matthew Erhart began working as an internal auditor at BofI Holding, a large internet savings and loan association. Over the next 18 months, he identified in his internal communications what he believed were more than 13 violations of laws and banking regulations. His boss resigned in response, Erhart figured, to an order to commit an unlawful act. Then Erhart blew the whistle to the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, which regulated BofI, days before he was fired.

The HomeFirst misdeeds that I alleged were relatively small. As Erhart did, I went on and on finding them. Each deed called for investigations of laws or contracts and the compilation of financial information and, in some cases, client service information. For months, I surreptitiously collected email communications of the CEO and Board members.

To mold the findings into evidence intelligible to others requires skills we have learned in many past assignments. The process calls for nerve and courage because we know we will be punished if things go wrong and we cannot prove our contentions. We have seen the results of failure throughout our careers and personal lives up to that point.

During the course of this information gathering, we are exhilarated by what we discover and believe that it will make a difference. We may hope to right a wrong, improve the world, or get revenge.

We deny being heroes in the capital-H sense of the term[4], but we believe that we are doing the right thing[5]. We may convert that belief into a mission[6] – on behalf of some disadvantaged group or whistleblowers in general – or, unfortunately, a very lengthy lawsuit[7].

Like other peak experiences, whistleblowing builds a momentum. Once we are on a path of discovery, revelation, and response to retaliation, it is hard to stop. Erhart saw clearly enough what kind of company and management he was dealing with after his first few audits; the characters I dealt with at HomeFirst were clear to me months before I was fired. But we continued to work on our projects.

The energy that carries us forward can also partially blind us. We may select evidence that is biased in support of our case – a possible reason why our complaints rarely lead to successful prosecutions of the wrongdoers[8]. We may fail to see the fair logic of our adversaries.

In our impassioned rush, whistleblowers underestimate or ignore the dangers of retaliation. We are on a high that silent observers turn away from. We might be cagier if we can avoid the intoxication of the whistleblowing project. But mostly we are sucked in; we are slammed in the end despite laws and organizational policies that promise to honor our efforts.